Oh no what a day

We have had a bad day! They both have been pistols today! I am feeling like a horrible mom today! I felt like all I did was scream at them, put them in timeout, scream, did not let them have their way... GRRR!!

Madison is in a phase that when she does not get her way, or you do not give in to her she will scream AT YOU LOUDLY! I do the 123 timeout, i ignore, i scream, I laugh at her, I don't give in, I give in. I just do not know what to do. Austin if he does not get his way or you do not do something fast enough for him he will scream, cry, throw things, and bang things.

I feel like I sometimes give in so i do not have to hear them scream at me..I know horrible. I also do not want to scream at them all the time or get upset with them. I have bad guilt afterwards.

Today it was so bad that Madison called out for daddy, and Nana when she was in trouble. I said fine lets call them and you can scream at them and see what they tell you. We called and of course she stops screaming but she did the poor me pity whine cry. After she calmed down, what broke my heart and has had me upset all day is she would do a pucker slow cry and just sit on me and hug me. I get her calm, I tell them both if they go to sleep and do not talk when they wake up we can get a special snack. Well we were good, and when we woke up we had to rush to leave to go meet up with daddy. She was fine until we had the same meltdown with the sippy cup, she wanted the no leak valve out, i did not give in because when I did she go choked up because it was too fast and leaked on her. so during her melt down I called Nana for her to actually hear this crazy screaming at me (without Madison knowing i was calling). My mom was like she never does this why all of a sudden now, I said no she does this very frequently just not this long and bad. Nana gets her calmed down. I get her her juice. Now do i give in and give her the special snack because she did do as i asked about going to sleep. but i felt like i was rewarding her screaming fit that just happened. I also did not want to hear her screaming again when I give Austin his or do not give in to either. So what do I do I give them the special snack and we head out the door.

I go meet up with daddy he takes them home. I head to drop off my Jeep stroller I sold, pick up the exersaucer for Alexis and then I head to PF Chang's for POTATO's Moms night out. there was 8 of us and we had lots of Fun chatting without the kids!

I hope for a better day tomorrow. I think I am going to take Austin for a hair cut before he gets called a girl! I may take them to the mall's play area as well. I was going to go to the Discovery center since its going to rain so no park. But he needs a hair cut and who knows when i will get to go again.

Adam and I had a talk tonight as i discussed and cried. about discipline and screaming. i do not want to do that, I do not want to feel like i am loosing it. So we are going to try 200 percent to not do that and try our best to do this another way. I feel like i have already scared them from me screaming at them when they are wrong or in trouble. I just want good kids and i do not want them to be scared of us..if you know what i mean by that. hard to explain.